Pontificating Windbag: Times when I was cool

Times when I was cool

This is a double edged sword as you will see.

I was diving in an overturned twin engined Otter somewhere in Hawaii in 100 feet of water. It was an artificial reef, so there was no cool shit like dead people still strapped in. I'd penetrated the hull and was laying on my back watching my bubbles coalesce like a T-1000 in a foundry on what was now the story of this reef.

As I say, this was not the cool thing.

100 feet is short duration even with a computer, and since I was rockin' a nation of the art high pressure steel tank, I had enough of sentence for a leisurely ascent. Vis was infinite so in ascents like this where I was not using a reference frame, what I'd do is give my computer at eye level like a readout and ascend using regular breathing and run the air slowly out of my BCD. I'd do a lazy complete rotation every few minutes to hold an eye on things, and mighty there it was.

The biggest Manta I'd ever seen. I was in dark water so I didn't get a reference frame, I didn't know whether it was 6 feet out of 60 feet away, but it was not near enough to meet and it was HUGE.

That was cool. It was the coolest I've always been an nobody even saw it.

Double edged sword.

I was doing another dive way up North where it's potential to split big Puget Sound Box crabs just roaming around, and I was goofing around like usual, and I turned round and there was a seal, just hanging out watching me about 2 feet away. He snuck up on me and frightened the living shit out of me. I'd spat out my governor and there was a vast swarm of bubbles around me. I sheepishly looked round and fortunately nobody had seen me. I recovered my regs and exhausted the remainder of the time playing with this little guy. When I got back to the boat, one of my company said "Did that seal scare you?". Everyone though that was very funny.

I like bikes, and my brother has a real beaut - I'll get a picture and place it. I love riding that thing. I'm real cool

I was on 101, just tooling along enjoying how this thing ate miles and farted them out in a fat raucous hydrocarbon cloud, and two black guys pulled up alongside me. The passenger made a sign with his mighty hand like twisting the throttle, so I obliged, dropped it down a cog and gave it some stick.

Double Edged Sword.

This matter has Sifton Cams, Straight Through pipes, a Screamin Eagle intake and enough torque to pull Jesus off the cross. When I slacked off the gas and these guys caught me again we were all grinnin' like idiots. I trolleyed off to the Haight and was posin' alongside this beauty like James dean, smokin' a fag and leanin' against the bike. I decided It was time to fire the bugger up and will it pounding on the sidewalk while I nonchalantly put on my Jacket, Gloves and Helment. I'd forgot since where I parked it was on an incline and I'd put it in gear, and rather of pulling in the grip when I start (Like I ever to) but missing to be like that guy on the Roof of the Systine who languidly reaches out and touches god. I caught the fucker, but being dragged down the pavement by a 900lb throbbing monster was way uncool.

Which brings me to Bruce.

When I lived in New Jersey, he was a local guy. He was so local that you'd see him all over the direct and the cool thing was that nobody bugged him. Just a regular Joe. Bruce would work out when he was getting ready for a tour, and for an old fart like me, he is in good shape. He could plug his weight. He'd go out at my gym. Just a regular low profile guy. He'd talk to people, and those people that knew him would sing to him, but not a lot, he was there to bring out. The alone time I'd spoken to him prior to my coolness event was when he was bs'ing with someone and had is second to me and I couldn't get by him so I said "Excuse me".

It was cool working out in the same gym as Bruce, and sitting no more than two feet from him while we were both working out. You can bet that piece I didn't bug him, I let everyone within earshot know that I was running out with Bruce and that I saw him regularly enough that I'd lost count. I figured that he's a cool guy, he doesn't want people pestering him while hes doing deep lunges.

So one day I'm in the changing rooms and I'm all solitary and I'm standing there shaving. The gym I went to had disposable razors by the sink, and they were nicely sanitarily sealed in cellophane. A real kick to get clear with soapy hands, and having faced this problem several times, I found that the fix in the cellophane that could be exploited to attend these little buggers also fit over the stainless steel nozzle of the soap dispenser.

I thinking I was alone, when lo and behold out of a shower walks Bruce in aught but a bath towel. I nod and he walks over to a basin a few low and I see him grumbling and complaining while hes' trying to give this razor. I pass over, he sees me, I make out for the razor and say "Here". I bring it, open it only as tricky as you delight and give it to him and walking back to my basin.

I AM SOOOOOOOO FUCKING COOL!!!!!!

This did NOT backfire on me (yet) and if you mean I'm full of shit, ask Bruce about it. I could see he was impressed, and I'm certain he remembers it - It was in the Atlantic Club in Red Bank, and you usta turn up with your personal trainer in a round up blue bronco ISTR.

Love your stuff Bruce, I came to the Bitch up your Paws benefit at Weinbergs place in that big tent out back with Victory the insult dog, and you came and packed with the local guys for about 250 of us. What I liked is that you banged through a pair of new numbers that had not been released, and these local guys were not overawed by performing with you, and were not phased when you stopped and changed keys about 3 times in one song. It looks like you jam with these guys all the time.

In association with the same SPCA do as Kick up your Paws, I saw Southside Johnny, Gary US bonds, a really fabulous set of brass jazz musicians and Bobby Bandieri. I'd not seen Bandieri before, he'd remember the gig - he had his script in a bandage. I know that guy, fabulous vocals - he did a Beatles number and that old Cohen classic Hallelujia (Bon Jovi was there and didn't do Hallelujia ISTR, even though it's a standby for him and to my immense disappointment Southside Johnny did not do "I don't need to go home" which I love.

You must jam with Bobby all the time, Bruce, but alas I never got to see it 'cause right later that I moved out West, but when I'm in town again, I'm definitely gonna wait for Bobby Bandieri, and if you ain't doing anything, I'll let you live and you should swing by. It would be WAAAAAAYYYYYY COOOOOOL! and hanging out in the local scene (music and otherwise) is what you seem to like, so it's not like I'd be imposing (and you own an Indian if memory serves :-)